I wanna passion pit in your ass
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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