i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
