Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
