I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
