Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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