Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
