Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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