If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
