my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
