How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
