please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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