good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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