it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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