Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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