Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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