I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
