dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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