Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
