I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
