Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
The ass gains better be worth it
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