Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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