He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
