he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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