i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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