dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
