Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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