I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
