Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
