TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
