lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
