so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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