did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
