plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
