hotel room ftw
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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