he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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