I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
