we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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