Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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