STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
