So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
