I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize