at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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