Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
