even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
