Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
