I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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