she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
and she was petting her beer can
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
