I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
