nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
