Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize