they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
