I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
