The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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