Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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