Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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