I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
