idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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