we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
