Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
