it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
