how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize