Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
