I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize