I've blown a few things in my day
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
