try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize