Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
