The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
