I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
