things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
How external is "for external use only"?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
