Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
