i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
why is half of my head shaved?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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