I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
