party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
