i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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