Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
