Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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