We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
