Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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